Daily Mama Drama

I think all wives want to feel sexy, and have that sort of super coordinated, sexy vibe going on in the bedroom.  So the other night as my children were all at the baby sitter I decided a little strip tease was in order. As I began to shake it, I was ever so humbled as to how uncoordinated I am. I spun around in all my sexiness and my ankle quickly let out from under me as I fell sideways. And so trying to pull it off as, “something I meant to do” wasn’t going to work. My husband just giggled and said, “You ok?” And so I am officially humbled back to the uncoordinated sexy mama I am. But hey I tried.

I love my boys. My boys love bugs. I do not,…. well worms aren’t so bad but if it’s skinny, gangly, and winged,.. forget it.  So no bugs are allowed in the house but we do have a wonderful fish tank full of beautiful fish. They are suppose to add tranquility to a home but so far they just eat and poop. But occasionally I do think they are very pretty. But for the most part they are overrated. When we decided on the tank I opted for the beautiful fish with the long fanned tails.  My boys however, opted for the cool crabs with their gangly arms and pincher’s to boot. So mommy got the pretty fishies  and the boys got the gangly creepy crawly crabs. So the other night, late into the night, I was walking up the stairs to find the longest, skinniest black winged, nasty thingy on my carpet and low and behold it was moving. Ewwwwww! At the time all I had on me was a ten dollar bill so I quickly with my intelligent thought squished the bug and then proceeded to squish  the bug off of my ten dollar bill….Ewwww.  As I did the icky, gross, freaked out dance, in the kitchen I reminded myself it’s just a bug, it’s just a bug, ewww it’s just a bug,… sigh…. So maybe a little late night tele will be calming after my gross encounter.  As I made my way to the living I noticed an odd little piece of dirt on the floor, or was it a Lego? As i got closer I thought what in the world is in the carpet, banana, I couldn’t figure out after a long day of cleaning what could be in carpet now? Low and behold as I poked the ground, it moved! I screamed and shrieked as I realized a real live crab was sitting in my blue carpet!!!!! Ewww!  As it wiggled deeper into it’s blue cavern I lost it! I streamed lined it to the kitchen and grabbed two glasses quickly trapping the little Egor monster and replaced him back into his home.  And then I really lost it! I must have done the freak out mama dance for as long as I could until some not so nice mommy words quicly flew from my mouth for the next half hour. I had cleaned the tank earlier that day and that little creaton had somehow escaped and survived twelve hours around the floors of our home. How he survived a cat, labradoodle, three children, countless basketballs, and two adults I will never know? But this mama is officially done for the day and so I say goodnight. And with all of my cleaning efforts I have realized even the best mommies sometimes find there worst nightmares in the carpet. Uck!